The Cost

-I-
To the One who led His people from captivity
I have always believed You—
“Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh¹”
Even for the man who disbelieved, You parted the sea
How has he seen Your glory and not I?

To the One who interpreted the dreams of a king
“And the stone cut out of the mountain without hands
Crushed the iron, the brass, the clay, the silver, and the gold²”
Even for a servant to the king, You gave great power
How has he seen Your glory and not I?

-II-
We have survived a tribulation no people should face
And You, “Palet³” have not delivered
We are leaving now still as captives
And we see no sign of a Savior

-III-
Notimetothinknotimetotalkonlytimetorun
Breatherunrun

Finally I drop to the dust that bore me and will take me where I want⁴
To the finale, where my weak bones finally rest
I crumple into a pile
A man runs behind shouting and when I do not stand, he fires
A blast that burns my flesh and breaks bone
My sternum looks as though I am trying to hide a dagger beneath my skin
I bleed into my left lung, gargling with every heaving breath
Then my muscles relax

Only a few memories flash before me
Moving to Warsaw to be with family
The Yellow Badge
Then the camps

The rest have gone on running and breathing and dying
While the others follow with obedient motivation
Fingers pull triggers and the Red Sea parts
For bodies of my brothers
As I lie here I wonder what it would be like to see the end
To see the faces when freedom arrives
If it arrives
As I stare at the sky, the black blanket that blocks us from His view
I drift further away from faith
And slowly die


__________________________________________________

1. “Ehyeh-Asher-Ehyeh” – (Exodus 3:14) “I am that I am” (God)
2. Nebuchadnezzar’s dream (Daniel 2)
3. Palet – (Psalm 18:2) Deliverer (God)
4. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust (Genesis 3:19)

** “Seven hundred prisoners were killed during one ten-day march of 8,000 Jews, including 6,000 women, who were being moved from camps in the Danzig region, which is bordered on the north by the Baltic Sea. Those still alive when the marchers reached the coast were forced into the sea and shot.”

-United States Holocaust Memorial Museum